Bara no Uta
Adept Hunter
Would you tear my castle down?
Posts: 217
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Post by Bara no Uta on Sept 6, 2010 19:03:15 GMT -6
Because everyone needs to rant sometimes. lol Maybe I should make a positivity thread, too? Or someone else could. All I know is this section of the forums needs more activity! =P Since I'm making the thread, uh, I guess I'll start out with a rant? Nobody has to read this if they don't want to of course (I feel bad ranting if I don't say that), but... Pretty much all summer (well really since April though it was on and off at that point) I've been really depressed a lot of the time. I mean, it wasn't ALL the time, but it was definitely more than I'd like, and usually for no apparent reason - sometimes when I should've even been happy! Over the last few weeks, I've had where instead of alternating between depressed and normal like I had before... it's been between depressed and hyper. And I don't mean like, "Whee I'm happy!" or "Meh, not in the best of moods." It's way more extreme than that. And I mean, it's like at the drop of a hat! I screw something up, somebody tells me, no matter how gently, and I feel worthless and stupid. But then like last week, I felt SO happy, and for the first time in such a long time I felt really confident! But coming with that, I felt like I couldn't shut up sometimes. Even when I wanted to. I kept making stupid comments. And sometimes I couldn't think properly, because my thoughts were going way too fast! I don't know for sure why this is, but I know I REALLY want it to stop.
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Post by Soprano on Sept 6, 2010 23:38:57 GMT -6
CC, hun, that's really indicative behavior of what we talked about. ^^; Sucks to hear, but it's true.
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Post by Soprano on Sept 6, 2010 23:39:58 GMT -6
My rant under the highlight:
I’m really worried the board is dying. I know it’s new and we don’t have a lot of users yet, but I’m still worried as hell. I worked really damn hard on this and nobody but CC and I have posted in awhile. No one is in chat like normal, too. It makes me nervous and slightly cranky.
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Post by porcelain on Sept 7, 2010 9:40:51 GMT -6
sorry Soppie! But There were a LOT of things going on here ( here I mean, At home, not this board XD ) Bro is Ill again and with my birthday and stuff thing really got messed up here at home D8 And I've been in chat yesterday AND the day before! But was all alone D8. I was worried I did something wrong and people were ignoring me so I'm glad to hear that's not the case hahahaha. my rant : My birthday was kinda okay, but I hate it how my father always just HAS to complain about the Illness of my brother! Yes Okay I'm aware he's going thorugh a lot of trouble. But telling me on my birthday " you are lucky Jazz, people care about you, they don't care about your brother, They are all coming to celebrate tomorrow, I know they would never do the same for your brother " doesn't really makes me feel happy and lucky. Actually it makes me feel like shit! And it makes me remember what I shitty life we have. I just don't like to hear " your brother deserves a birthday party more than you do " I makes me feel like I'm not worthy of ANYTHING. I love my brother dearly, and I love my father too, But is it really to much to ask if I want my father to care about me too for once ? Or am I just being cold ? >> bleh Parents :')...even do I'm 21 now I STILL can't understand them.
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Post by Soprano on Sept 7, 2010 11:09:31 GMT -6
D= It's okay Porcelain, I totally get it. I'm just being paranoid.
That sucks about your birthday. I know the feeling.
I hope your brother starts to improve! But you deserve to party a bit, too! ^^ I mean, even though he deserves a birthday party... doesn't mean it's his birthday.
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lillium
Fatima's Sexophone
He Who Fights Monsters
just another dead composer
Posts: 1,682
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Post by lillium on Sept 7, 2010 20:38:41 GMT -6
I POSTED
I'm frustrated because my father likes to play the "Who Has It Worse" game when it comes to our respective problems.
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Bara no Uta
Adept Hunter
Would you tear my castle down?
Posts: 217
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Post by Bara no Uta on Sept 7, 2010 20:59:00 GMT -6
@soprano - ...I kind of thought that might be the case, but... I don't want it to be. Which isn't surprising, I guess. I dunno. @soprano's rant - That makes me think, though - anyone good at making banners? I'm not, but I could put a banner and link in my Gaia signature and see if that will get more people. I'm semi-active on a few forums there (mainly the Writer's Forum). @porcelain - I know how that can be. Sometimes parents just don't realize they're being unfair to one or both of their kids. >_< @loli - That's pretty awful. I don't get why people want to make a contest to see whose problems are worse. <_< ...Actually, I kind of can guess, but still.
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lillium
Fatima's Sexophone
He Who Fights Monsters
just another dead composer
Posts: 1,682
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Post by lillium on Sept 7, 2010 21:09:06 GMT -6
It's frustrating as hell. Next time he does it, I'm going to tell him that you can't compare our problems because they are both totally different.
I also would like to rant about how nobody listens to me about subjects I know a lot about because I am just a teenager and therefore can't know anything, unlike adults who know EVERYTHING and who are OBVIOUSLY SUPERIOR.
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Post by porcelain on Sept 8, 2010 9:24:33 GMT -6
I'm an adult too. And my father is still playing that game with me... And he gets MAD everytime I'm happy. He thinks that he and my mom are the only one suffering because of our home situation. But I'm a member of the family too! I also see the pain of my brother , and I'm also limited in my outdoor life just like they are! yet he believes I simply don't care about my brother. Ugh... I hate it. and every time I had a great day at school or with friends, he has to starts about how awful our life is and that's it's obvious I don't care because I'm always happy. I'm happy because I live in my own world. I believe there is still hope and I often run away in my fantasy. Yet I'm often told that's a BAD thing. I don't see what is so bad about it! I can see the good even in the bad thanks to my imagination. Without it, I would have probably be dead right now! I need to believe in something beyond this, I need to believe that this is not all life has to offer. Yes maybe I'm not 'realistic'. But They are being pessimists, and that's not better AT ALL. I rather be an Optimist than a Pessimist WHY THANK YOU. Some people have a religion to believe in, some believe ' God ' will help them in life. When they are sad, they find sanctuary in their religion. But you know, I find it in my fantasy and dreams. I don't see the difference in that at all. If only I did believe in a god, or in fairytales, My life would be a lot more easier to live. You tell me it's wrong to have dreams, that I will never make it as a jewelry designer because life doesn't work that way. I'LL MAKE LIFE WORK THAT WAY. I can take control of my own life. I'll fuck life before it fucks me. >> That was a long rant! SORRY GUYS BLEH BLEH * is angry *
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lillium
Fatima's Sexophone
He Who Fights Monsters
just another dead composer
Posts: 1,682
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Post by lillium on Sept 8, 2010 22:37:27 GMT -6
Apparently, I am selfish because I dislike baked potatoes and need rides to places I could previously walk to, but cannot now.
So I got yelled at, and was told to apologize for words I never even said. I don't know why, but people like to pretend I say/do things I didn't.
Then I had to debate with idiots who don't know jack shit about economics or politics.
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